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EnigmA Amiga Run 1997 April
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EnigmA AMIGA RUN 17 (1997)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1997-04][EAR-CD].iso
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EvenMore032.lha
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microslick.readme
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1996-11-05
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8KB
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130 lines
======================================
The MicroSoft® Legacy Continues...
======================================
To boldly go where every man has been before...
-----------------------------------------------
Bill Gates has fulfilled this quest by releasing Windows ten years too late.
He is our leader (Or successor, we came before him).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We all know AmigaOS rulez and Windoof 95 sux, and MacOS, well, we can't say much
about that. But what really annoys me is Micro$loth. Currently, I know of
nothing they have actually earned themselves. Back in the days of Spectrums and
Commodore 64s, Micro$loth was a small company, being bullied around by big
companies such as IBM. Micro$loth, the sloth that it is, decided to rip off IBM
by reverse engineering IBM's processors and put them in their own PCs they were
assembling. They also bought Q-DOG, renamed it MS-DOG and sold that with their
PCs, which through no fault of their own (we don't think) was in every way
identical to IBM's DOG they had with their PCs, except for the drive labels.
Then they proceeded to work on OS/2 for IBM.
Meanwhile... a steadily growing companing called Commodore had released a fab
set of machines called the Amiga. They had excellent graphics, and could do a
whole lot more to boot. Commodore also was working on Workbench, a cool OS for
the Amiga. It could manage preemptive prioritized round-robin multitasking in
just 256k. It was so efficient, it could run off a floppy disk, and you could
connect it up to a number of televisions or monitors. It was superb for video
and sound work. It beat the pants off anything around at the time. (PCs were
still running green screens :)
Then Micro$loth steal part of the AmigaOS! In OS/2, Micro$loth 'decided' to put
in a patented copyrighted feature of Workbench. They stole the proportional
scroll gadgets that you and me take for granted. They didn't steal it once but
twice! Micro$loth have also borrowed our lovely proportional scroll gadgets for
Windoze 95 too. Micro$loth then put in a whole new host of features including
so-called multitasking and a 32bit operating system. Deja vu? Also, our
so-called friends, the BeBox owners have also managed to steal most parts of our
OS, but I suppose this is allowed as alot of people working on that project are
ex-commodore. Hmmmm... This situation makes me laugh. When Windows 3.1 was out,
PC owners always claimed Amigas were rubbish and Windows was the best thing
since sliced pants. Now that Windows 95 is out, they claim that Windows 3.1 was
trash and Amigas are still trash. Yet Windows 95 has only recently got some
features that us amigans had in Workbench about 12 years ago. The problem here
is obviously lack of advertising. Because they are made to beleive Amigas are
crap, and have not experienced them for themselves and do not know the features
Amigas rool in, they are blinded by money-grabbing companies like MicroSlutt, so
Billy Boy can become an even richer turd.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We interview one of MicroSniff's hired workers to help sell PCs in major stores
across the country.
(This is an actors voice. We are unable to reveal his identity.)
Us:What sort of dirty tactics are used to shift PCs today?
MrX:Ohh very dirty tactics. If Watchdog got a hold of this, the calls would
blow up the switchboard. Here is an example of what I would say to
`persuade' a customer.
"£400 for a wordprocessor, anyone? No more features than any other wordprocessor
on other platforms, but don't forget, we at MicroSmell give you quality
assurance. We will even lie through our teeth to show you that PCs are the best
home computer around. We will `persuade' you to take out insurance and buy
guarantees, so if your PC ever breaks, we will fix it for free (In your dreams).
And we are not getting a massive bonus for every customer we fool into getting
this. Dirt cheap prices for hardware. Fallen off the back of a lorry. Buy now,
fork out November. Windoze, the new operating system buy MicroSpoof. Many NEW
features that are available nowhere else. The hottest software event of the
decade."
Us:What is the main reason people buy PCs for today?
MrX:Ohh windows... yeah... The best operating system around they think.
And multimedia. They are lead to beleive that PCs are actually good for
video and sound.
Us:Does MicroSick know about this interview?
MrsX :) :No way! If they knew, I would be fired on the spot.
Q:Thankyou for your time to reveal to us this ever deepening fraud.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can't pull the wool over ours eyes Bill.
______________________________
By me | chris@planb.TheGAP.com
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================================================================================
Bill Gates thinks he owns the world. MicroFool is the world. Thinks Bill Gates.
In his book "The Road Ahead" all the new technique is a creation that we will
have to thank Bill for. To each and every thing Bill discuss, about the future
world of computerized home environment, there's a product from MicrF--k. When he
writes about the advanced spreadsheets, MicroSink Excel is a natural reference
(????)... not for me, though. And the section where he describes his and his
family's future house, he just brags, no ordinary person can effort all the
expensive things, like dozens of small TV-monitors with hyper sharp picture.
But, on the other hand, he has 100 millions to spend, so why not do it on
rubbish crap? Spend your fortune on trash, and realise that money isn't the
answer to everything... Yes, if you spend them on an Amiga, it's alright :-)
"But it isn't profitable"; I can imagine Bill's answer. Bill sh*t, we say. Bill
has probably never touched an Amiga, and I don't think he has the right to do
it. Stay in the PC business, Bill, where boasting is allowed. We, all Amiga
owners, are too proud to deal with you... and we know that Amiga is gonna live
forever...
------------
HOT NEWS!!!!
------------
MICROSOFT BUYS THE AMIGA
Early this morning the deal was ready; Bill Gates' Microsoft buys the profitable
Amiga computer platform from VisCorp. A big thing in the history of computers.
Bill says, 'finally I have realised that if there's any computer that is going
to get yield for us, it's the Amiga'. But everybody in the Microsoft head
quarters are not that glad as Bill. xxxxx says that Amiga has stolen a couple of
things on their OS from the PC's OS, e.g. the multitasking that Microsoft
developed especially for their lastest OS Windows 95. (I wonder who has stolen
it from who?????). The line of computer business waits for the continuation.
We Amiga owners are glad this isn't happening in the reality, aren't we?
MicroSpoil can't buy us, 'cause we aren't for sale, in any case not to
MicroFool...
_____________________________________________________
By Johan Björnson | e.j.bjornson@malmo.mail.telia.com
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